And we’re back with another new episode! James is finally back in his house, and we’re on remote protocol, but picked a title we could all watch, and one we could do with Netflix Party! So that was fun. Bird Box, the 2018 movie, based on the 2014 book.

If you want to skip James’s tale of sailing all the way around South America, skip to 5:59. You jerk!

Rankings!:

James: Book/Movie

Seth: Book/Movie

Colin: Book/Movie

And now our Netflix Party chat. Warning, there’s literally no context to anything.

SethBoy
go time?

One Kuskie or The Other
Do eet!

One Kuskie or The Other
updated their user icon or nickname

One Kuskie or The Other
hard to believe she’s 50

SethBoy
She’s 50 and totally makes it with a hot 30 year old later on

SethBoy
Get it, girl!

J Bone
cougar?!

SethBoy
rawr

SethBoy
James is this your first viewing?

J Bone
si

SethBoy
sorry for the nookie spoiler

J Bone
dang it!

SethBoy
Heh people fighting over bottled water

J Bone
corona triffids??

J Bone
nope, toilet paper…

SethBoy
She doesn’t f the horse

SethBoy
sorry, spoilers

J Bone
she “rides” the horse

SethBoy
giggity

SethBoy
Whoa she was on ER!

SethBoy
And Bend it Like Beckham

One Kuskie or The Other
She who? It’s all women so far.

SethBoy
Doctor

J Bone
did she bend her beckham on ER?

J Bone
on the stud farm?

J Bone
lunch, bottle of wine… afternoon delights?

One Kuskie or The Other
Skyrockets in flight?

SethBoy
But she’s only a little bit preggers

SethBoy
Tracksuit lady is now in a bad way

SethBoy
spoilers!

One Kuskie or The Other
Seth, why don’t you just tell us all about the movie, it will go faster that way?

SethBoy
There’s birds

J Bone
TWSS

SethBoy
and boxes

J Bone
this isn’t canonical!

SethBoy
Ooh Malkovitch and BD Wong

J Bone
JM is gonna be a gr8 crazy dude

SethBoy
Alita is in here somewhere too I think

One Kuskie or The Other
We are going to have a podcast. If you interrupt us, we will hurt you. If you pass gas, you will die.

SethBoy
Heh

J Bone
meh, the gas hasn’t killed you yet 😛

J Bone
we should wear blindfolds for the podcast

SethBoy
That shotgun is empty

SethBoy
or it would’ve ejected a shell

One Kuskie or The Other
Not empty

SethBoy
Oh the pump does work!

SethBoy
it was before though

J Bone
it is now… maybe…

One Kuskie or The Other
Seth, what’s up with your name being misspelled on the YouTube video from Sunday?

SethBoy
David got it wrong

SethBoy
Not the first time, won’t be the last

SethBoy
Healy is the most common mispelling

J Bone
did he mispell Seth? or Heasle?

One Kuskie or The Other
You can be Jeff Healey’s brother from Canada

J Bone
lol

J Bone
or Seath

SethBoy
Hey it wasn’t Seath Heasle

J Bone
😀

SethBoy
How was it ever a good idea to leave him alone?

SethBoy
This is a serious tactical error

One Kuskie or The Other
He’s tied up

One Kuskie or The Other
Or down

SethBoy
James likes both

One Kuskie or The Other
What’s he going to do, click them to death?

SethBoy
Alita Battle Yoga

J Bone
mmm, yeah

J Bone
darn

One Kuskie or The Other
Alita == Lucy the cop

SethBoy
Lucy the cop from what?

SethBoy
oh book gotcha

SethBoy
and if it’s a girl, then Junior

SethBoy
Man I wish Junior was adapted

SethBoy
Alita Battle Hookup

One Kuskie or The Other
Desperate for a haircut

SethBoy
Best Sandra Bullock hacking movie since the Net

SethBoy
Yeah she lowered his ears heh

J Bone
they’re desperate for a haircut

One Kuskie or The Other
“research for the book” Way to get suckered.

SethBoy
She knows just how a nerd can be convinced

SethBoy
Is there not enough paint for all windows?

SethBoy
Send in the car…send in the car

One Kuskie or The Other
If they took fewer people, they’d have more room for supplies

SethBoy
Brothers Drive First

One Kuskie or The Other
The Ralstonmobile would be perfect for this. It has radar and everything

J Bone
yeah, we’re good… costco order was delivered today!

SethBoy
Heh

One Kuskie or The Other
Totally parked illegally

J Bone
not to mention the property damage!

One Kuskie or The Other
What did Costco deliver? TP, Chicken, Coffee beans?

J Bone
meh, got a bidet, tp not needed 😛

SethBoy
Malkovitch with his priorities straight

J Bone
that’d be my first stop too

SethBoy
For medicinal purposes of course

J Bone
of course

SethBoy
lol

One Kuskie or The Other
Birds would be dead by now

One Kuskie or The Other
Caged and unfed

J Bone
nah, there was another who sacrificed itself for the greater good

SethBoy
Plus the apocalpyse is like two days old

SethBoy
timeline is compressed compared to the book

J Bone
paused the video

J Bone
Em break

SethBoy
likely story

J Bone
started playing the video

J Bone
heh, make the apocalypse great again, lol

One Kuskie or The Other
Fast break!

J Bone
we only needed 30 secs or so…

One Kuskie or The Other
Podcast title right there.

SethBoy
Some coworkers

J Bone
language!

J Bone
10 types of people?

One Kuskie or The Other
Why did she leave two children unprotected in a boat where crazy people are around?

SethBoy
There is a great disturbance in the Force

J Bone
i just farted

One Kuskie or The Other
I heard the echo

One Kuskie or The Other
Apparently john hasn’t shot a rifle before

SethBoy
Doug is right

SethBoy
he’s like Ripley in Alien

SethBoy
break quarantine, lose lives

One Kuskie or The Other
Break vases, lose lives

One Kuskie or The Other
If they’d listened to Doug, it would have been different

SethBoy
We have a mention of wolves!

SethBoy
canon!

One Kuskie or The Other
Doesn’t count

SethBoy
totally does

SethBoy
it’s at least a nod to the book

One Kuskie or The Other
No actual wolves were involved. No shoulders damaged. No blood.

J Bone
yet…

One Kuskie or The Other
A nod would have been wolves howling on the river.

SethBoy
nah that’s a reference

SethBoy
the nod is for the book readers only

J Bone
paused the video

One Kuskie or The Other
Again?

SethBoy
another 30 seconds?

J Bone
viewing poll: boy or girl looks??

One Kuskie or The Other
Uh, seen it before

SethBoy
same

J Bone
cheaters!

J Bone
started playing the video

One Kuskie or The Other
Clear fluid. Good sign!

J Bone
and the volume?

J Bone
normal?? 😀

SethBoy
it wasn’t too loud

One Kuskie or The Other
Appropriate

J Bone
abby normal

J Bone
*or

One Kuskie or The Other
More like a trickle. Baby is probably blocking the entrance to the uterus

SethBoy
I think you mean exit

SethBoy
from a certain point of view

J Bone
both?

One Kuskie or The Other
So why didn’t the birds detect Doug?

One Kuskie or The Other
or Greg. Whatever his name is, the whacko?

SethBoy
His Bird Box Herpes wasn’t enflamed

J Bone
the not-American?

One Kuskie or The Other
Him

SethBoy
It’d have been rad if he microwaved the birds but I suppose the power is out

SethBoy
Bird Box Herpes shows in the eyes

One Kuskie or The Other
She’s either giving birth, or watching Empire of the Ants

One Kuskie or The Other
Hard to tell the difference

J Bone
lol

SethBoy
lol

SethBoy
that’s a good one Colin

SethBoy
nod to sister’s death in the book?

J Bone
“so beautiful”

J Bone
“so great”

J Bone
make apocalypse great again

One Kuskie or The Other
COVID-19 liberators

SethBoy
yup

SethBoy
just need some confederate flags on their cars

J Bone
give me liberty or give me COVID

One Kuskie or The Other
Good news! You can have both

J Bone
woooo!

J Bone
lol, nice

J Bone
noice

J Bone
smoort

SethBoy
That dude is a unit

J Bone
a fine specimen indeed

J Bone
AAAAABBBBSSS

SethBoy
River route isn’t as complicated as in the book

One Kuskie or The Other
The well!

J Bone
she named them… Boy and Girl. Duh.

SethBoy
It’s like Adam and Eve meaning “Man” and “Mother”?

One Kuskie or The Other
T-30, time for conflict

J Bone
Emily says to stop spoiling!

J Bone
sheesh

SethBoy
Hey I’ve watched Handmaid’s Tale. What’s she doing reading?

One Kuskie or The Other
Fight to the death over PopTarts

SethBoy
That cost Mrs. Waterford a finger.

J Bone
but have you watched Handmaid’s Tail??

SethBoy
Is that the porn parody?

J Bone
😀

SethBoy
Did Mom and Dad just bone down in the other room?

J Bone
this is what diabetes tastes like…

SethBoy
LOL

J Bone
i suppose if you’re blindfold a shotgun isn’t the worst option

One Kuskie or The Other
Oh Tom

SethBoy
Strong Dad move there

SethBoy
She’s saying it for the second time

One Kuskie or The Other
Understand?

One Kuskie or The Other
updated their user icon or nickname

SethBoy
The Dumb Luck Contingency!

SethBoy
by Robert Ludlum

J Bone
lol

One Kuskie or The Other
She’ll spin them right round

J Bone
like a record?

J Bone
baby?

One Kuskie or The Other
Second fork from the right, and on ’til mourning

SethBoy
next pause will be the third fork, won’t it?

SethBoy
30 second forks?

J Bone
spooning

One Kuskie or The Other
Girl is really the hero of this story

J Bone
i think the bell is the hero

SethBoy
nah the aaaaaaabs were the hero

J Bone
but did the abs save him?? NO!

SethBoy
This is the LOST portion of the movie

SethBoy
as

SethBoy
you

SethBoy
wish

J Bone
are her ears ringing? or is that the Girl??

One Kuskie or The Other
I detect a character ark

SethBoy
the ark capsized

SethBoy
Not without my daughter!

SethBoy
I could lose a lot of discs on the course they’re walking through

SethBoy
sword ferns everywhere

SethBoy
they’re quantum aliens. They can only be seen if you can see them

SethBoy
if you look at them

One Kuskie or The Other
They move trees really well

J Bone
that’s just the wind

SethBoy
Pruitt Taylor Vince in the house.

One Kuskie or The Other
He plays Rick?

J Bone
blind leading the blind…

SethBoy
yes

SethBoy
great character actor

SethBoy
I know him from Highlander the Series

SethBoy
he has nystagmus

SethBoy
his eyes dart back and forth

One Kuskie or The Other
Don’t mess with a Momma

SethBoy
maybe have them deloused first?

One Kuskie or The Other
lice are protein

SethBoy
true

One Kuskie or The Other
Fin

J Bone
no after credit scene?!

SethBoy
ah that explains the sexy ab shots

One Kuskie or The Other
Negative

SethBoy
directed by a lady

SethBoy
🙂

One Kuskie or The Other
All right, I’m out. Will let y’all know about Thursday for a remote recording.